September Is for Sustainable Habits & Routines
Whether you are school-aged or supporting loved ones who are, back to school brings about routine shifts. The sun sets on summertime, and everyone must adjust back to their new normal. For kids and teens, that looks like new teachers, quizzes and tests, extracurricular activities, and the usual dreaded school social scene. For parents, this looks like supporting kids through their ups and downs, frequent car rides, busy schedules, and managing day jobs. It can be overwhelming for everyone involved.
In many ways, the beginning of a new school year mirrors the outlook at the beginning of a new calendar year. We might think “this year is going to be different” or “this year, I am going to make x a priority.” We give that thing our best effort for a little while, and yet after some time, it falls away. Responsibilities become demanding, and we respond with self-sacrifice. Very quickly, our boundaries around eating dinner all together as a family, for example, slip in relation to the extracurricular activity, or the hour of professional work that needs to get done.
Here at Low Country Behavioral Health, we recognize it’s quickly approaching the end of September. About a month/month and a half into the new school year, things have settled in and the opportunity for unsustainable habits is likely arising. As you read this, there’s an invitation to pause and consider the following:
What was an important intention that I set for this new school year and how am I currently living into it?
Or, if the school year has no connection to you whatsoever, What is an important intention that I have currently and how am I living into it?
If your answer to these questions seem a little hazy, this post might be for you. In order to prevent the future you from struggling with an unsustainable and/or undesired routine, there will be offered reflection around your values, in addition to suggestions for creating sustainable habits with greater ease.
What are you choosing to value?
One therapy modality known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy highlights how values can be a driver of behavioral change. What are values, you might ask? According to the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy literature, values are “chosen qualities of purposive action.” Examples might include family, health, fun, courage, and more. When we have our values clearly defined, we can make decisions in life based on them. For instance, if we value the idea of financial security, we might put some money away monthly into savings. Or if we value making a difference, we might choose a career that resonates with that idea.
Values are slightly different from goals. Values might help us work towards a goal, however, they are qualities in which we lean into daily. For instance, a goal might be getting married. However, every day we show up in our dating life leading from a place of love and curiosity, because these are our identified values. Values can be helpful because they are not stagnant. They can change, and at any moment, we can make the active choice to live into them. It is never too late to begin living into our values.
You might ask, how does this relate? Well what qualities are you hoping to lean into right now? Were you hoping to be more present at home with your kids this school year when not working, because you value time together? Or maybe you dislike math, but are really trying to focus on appreciation of your learning even still? Take a moment to reconnect with any intentions you had going into the new (school) year, as well as considering how you are actively choosing to live into these values currently. There is no right/wrong answer in terms of what a value might look like for you.
Stumped? Read on…
If you are finding yourself unsure of your values, you might take some time to really consider them. Even a quick internet search can generate plenty of possible options for you to reflect on. To provide some quick suggestions, we will use the concept of wellness. Human wellness is often defined to include eight components by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. These are emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, occupational, physical, social, and spiritual. Within these categories, we might be able to identify certain values for ourselves - for instance: health, leadership, knowledge, service, generosity and more.
In the spirit of discussing healthy habits and sustainable routines, we will discuss some ways in which you might consider living into values within the wellness categories.
Emotional: One that tends to come up a lot at Low Country Behavioral Health! Emotional wellness looks different for everyone, yet the common thread is figuring out how to care for ourselves best. Are we taking time for our feelings, engaging in things we enjoy, finding ourselves surrounded by meaningful people? How are you valuing aspects of your emotional health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Environmental: This category includes our planet, as well as our immediate environments at home, work, and/or school. If we love and appreciate nature, we might spend time volunteering to pick up litter. Or let’s say we value a tidy home, and spend an extra few minutes every night cleaning up our space. How are you valuing aspects of your environmental health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Financial: Financial stress can be a relatable topic. We must all find a way to make ends meet, yet it can be helpful to identify how we do so, as well as why. For example, you might value family and providing for yours. Or, you enjoy having fun with friends and thus need to complete your chores for the allowance to do so. How are you valuing aspects of your financial health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Intellectual: What is of interest to you? Maybe you value knowledge, so you commit to spending a lot of time reading. Intellectual wellness consists of ways to stimulate your mind. Or perhaps you appreciate community, therefore you spend time investing in intellectual conversations with the people around you. How are you valuing aspects of your intellectual health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Occupational: Occupational health might go beyond our day jobs to reflect deeper passions. We might also reflect on our accomplishments, work connections, and/or the balance between work and life outside of work. How are you valuing aspects of your occupational health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Physical: There are various components to physical health. We might consider how we are fueling our bodies nutritionally, how we move our bodies regularly. Do we allot time for our bodies and minds to rest by getting sufficient sleep? Even scheduling regular, preventative wellness visits can be a proactive way of taking care of physical health. We might pick any one of these to focus on, or health in general. How are you valuing aspects of your physical health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Social: As humans, relationships are our bread and butter. We all have a basic need for connection. How are you choosing to show up in relationships? Demonstrating kindness, compassion, generosity, understanding? There are so many ways to show the people we love what we value in how we interact with them, as well as ways to make connection a priority. How are you valuing aspects of your social health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Spiritual: Spiritual does not always have to mean religion, although it also may. Spiritual wellness centers around the beliefs that you occupy. It might look like values of love, balance, tradition, peace. How are you valuing aspects of your spiritual health? What sustainable routines have you created?
Suggestions for creating sustainable habits
Hopefully that helped either generate some ideas or propelled you to reflect about the ways in which you’re considering your overall wellness. The next step is living into your values by building sustainable habits. Habits become routines, which both lead to a life worth living.
The most important thing when creating habits is recognizing how challenging it can really be. This is why the habit literature focuses on practicality and small steps. Today we recognize that habits become engrained when they are automatic and second-nature. Getting them to that place takes some time and intentional thought.
Here are a few suggestions to consider when creating sustainable habits from author, James Clear:
Be specific: decide what you’re doing, where you’re doing it, and when you’re doing it.
Use habit stacking, which is doing something new right before/after an existing habit. For example, “After brushing my teeth, I will…”
Create an environment in which the new habit is very obvious/central visually.
Do anything possible to reduce the amount of obstacles between you and the habit.
Start with two minutes or less.
Consistency is key! You need to be engaging in these habits daily.
If you’re interested, there are so many helpful resources out there around habit creation. We encourage you to explore, or ask people around you (including your Low Country Behavioral Health therapist) for their recommendations!
It’s never too late
We’ll return to the title of this blog: September is for sustainable habits & routines. It’s never too late to get started. Every new day is an opportunity to begin again. After reading and reflecting on this blog you might think, “Yeah, this school year has gone in a different direction already than expected in terms of homework completion” or “I’m really slacking on my self-care now that I think about it.” We hope that you will use this post as an opportunity to pause and reflect on your habits and routines.
Ready to build routines that fit your values?
Renee Neves, LMSW, helps clients clarify what matters most and create habits that lasts. She sees clients in Mount Pleasant and West Ashley offices.
About the Author
Renee Neves, LMSW is a therapist at Low Country Behavioral Health, where she works with children, teens, adults, and families navigating anxiety, life transitions, school and relationship stress. Her approach draws on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and CBT to help clients clarify their values and build changes that last. Renee received her MSW from the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!). Renee sees clients at our Mount Pleasant / West Ashley office and via telehealth across South Carolina. Meet Renee.