Supporting You or a Loved One Having Suicidal Thoughts
If you or someone you know is in a crisis right now: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7, call 911 or contact South Carolina’s crisis line at 833-364-2274. you don’t have to face this alone.
You might be experiencing some anxiety, finding yourself burdened by depression, and/or healing from trauma in your past. One day you wake up and suddenly, thoughts of death appear persistent in your mind. This scares you, and leaves you unsure what to do or where to turn. Or maybe you notice a friend or family member behaving differently than normal. They are distant, disconnected, and acting outside of their usual patterns. You worry about them and question their safety, however you don't know exactly what to do and how to support them.
September is Suicide Prevention Month. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States from 2024 data. It can be such a difficult topic that often goes undiscussed, yet this data shows us just how important these conversations really are.
Understanding suicide and warning signs
While suicide is often affiliated with depression, there are many mental health conditions and emotionally painful experiences that might increase its risk. Often it is an amalgamation of various things, accentuating a sense of hopelessness. When these thoughts happen, they tell us that our current burdens outweigh our capacity to cope. This can feel so scary, and leave us unsure where to turn.
There are lots of different warning signs that might indicate someone is contemplating suicide. Some might appear more apparent than others, which is why being mindful of those in our life is so important. For instance, if someone begins withdrawing a little more than usual, or seems angrier than what is considered their typical mood, we might not automatically think about assessing for suicidality. This is why being knowledgeable about warning signs can be so important.
Some potential warning signs for suicidality might include:
Conversations consisting around death, desire to die, feeling hopeless or in pain, lacking reasons to live, and/or feeling like a burden to others
Feelings such as emptiness, shame, guilt, sad, hopeless, irritability, anger, emotional entrapment
Behaviors like researching/planning ways to die, increased use of substances, withdrawal and isolation from loved ones, dangerous risk-taking, mood swings, saying goodbye
This is not an exhaustive list of warning signs, as different presentations can manifest for different people. The most important thing is that we are paying attention to how those in our life present everyday, and lean in when their emotional or behavioral landscape appears a little different.
Suicidal thoughts might not always be active as well. Active thoughts present as someone having both an intent to die, as well as a prepared plan in which they might consider doing so. However, someone might be having more passive thoughts of suicide, which could include some desire to die, however not having worked out a plan. Both are equally significant to address.
Recognizing the power we can hold
The important thing to recognize is that we are not alone. Even in the darkness and isolation, we have one another. Having suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean you’re “broken” or “crazy.” People struggle silently for fear of judgment or repercussion. Yet the reality of the statistics is that we are all humans who can and/or have struggled with these thoughts at some point in time. It’s important we offer ourselves compassion for the pain we are going through, while also seeking support during a vulnerable time.
Each one of us can play a vital role in preventing suicide. A counseling degree is not necessary when it comes to supporting those we love. A little psychoeducation can go a long way. This post is specifically designed to be that helping hand. The hope is that discussing this topic removes its shrouded and clandestine nature. Together, we can help prevent suicide.
5 Action Steps to Help Someone Having Thoughts of Suicide
The National Institute of Mental Health has created a list of 5 action steps we can all take to help someone if they are having thoughts of suicide. Following their proposed action plan gives us a framework through which we can respond to safety concerns with our loved ones.
Ask: There is a common misconception that asking someone if they are contemplating suicide might increase their desire to do so. This is not the case. While asking “are you having thoughts about suicide?” may be a difficult, vulnerable question to pose, it could save someone’s life. Addressing it directly limits secrecy and isolation, helps individuals to feel supported, and allows the chance for help to be acquired.
Be There: Sharing suicidal thoughts feels vulnerable. This is why it is so instrumental to make someone feel that you are providing a safe space for them to be vulnerable. Utilizing active listening and empathy skills to identify and relate to how your loved one might be feeling in this moment. Helping them to feel as though you understand what they might be going through, and that you are there for them unconditionally. Again, directly addressing suicide helps to limit the isolation and shame it tends to breed, which is why providing a space for that by being there is a necessary step.
Help Keep Them Safe: Securing safety within the environment is so important. Exactly how you do so might vary depending on the situation. For instance, if someone is having active thoughts of suicide in the moment, you would want to remove them from any potential dangers in that environment and remain with them until crisis support is obtained. However, if someone is having more passive thoughts without a specific plan, we might assist in limiting or removing any access to lethal means in their home to prevent potential use. This is one of the reasons why asking people if they have an active plan is important. Either way, making sure lethal means become less accessible or less deadly is so crucial. Anything you do to delay or prevent someone from acting on their thoughts could save their life.
Help Them Connect: They have confided in you as a trusted individual. The next step is helping them connect further to other means of support. Emergency resources such as 911 exist for an active situation in which immediate safety is endangered. 988 is the free National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline offering 24hr, round the clock confidential text and call support. Local resources such as the 833-364-2274 number in South Carolina provides community-based crisis response anywhere in the state. These resources are best for immediacy in an active situation. However, it will be equally beneficial to ensure your loved ones have access to long-term support too. For instance, helping one another connect to therapeutic resources in your local area. Lastly, a basic human need is connection. During a vulnerable time, it helps when we are surrounded by people who love and care for us. Making sure to encourage the individual to connect with family and friends will further bolster their well-being.
Follow Up: Aforementioned, a support system can be instrumental to suicide prevention. Therefore, continuing to be a resource for individuals beyond a crisis can make such a difference. We encourage you to continue connecting with them regularly, on both their mental health and outside of this specific topic area as well. You might ask them how they’re doing or how their therapy is going, while also making it clear you care for them and want to engage with them in other ways too.
Preventing Suicide Together
Suicide is a difficult topic for all of us. Losing those we love is an immeasurably painful human experience. This is why feeling knowledgeable and informed around suicide prevention is necessary for us all. Every day, we can play an active role in preventing suicide in our communities by leaning in and paying attention to those around us. At Low Country Behavioral Health, we feel honored to play a role in supporting individuals in our local community. If you or your family are existing clients, please know we are here to support you and/or your loved ones through any suicidal thoughts that arise. Or if you are contemplating beginning therapy in relation to any suicidal thoughts, please know we are here to support you through this painful time. Together, we can help keep one another safe, and promote healing for tomorrow.
Frequently Asked Questions
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No. According to NIMH’s 5 Action Steps guide, studies show that asking at-risk individuals directly does not increase suicidal thoughts or actions. Instead, it opens the door for honesty and reduces the isolation and shame that often surround suicidal thoughts.
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Active suicidal thoughts involve both a desire to die and a specific plan for how to do so. Passive suicidal thoughts involve a desire to die without a formed plan. Both deserve to be taken seriously and address with care. Learn more from NIMH's suicide prevention overview.
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Call or text 988 for 24/7 national crisis support, or call South Carolina’s local crisis line at 833-364-2274. In an emergency, call 911.
If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide, you don't have to face it alone. Our therapists at Low Country Behavioral Health are here to provide compassionate, judgment-free support. Reach out today to schedule an appointment, or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline anytime for immediate support.
About the Author
Renee Neves, LMSW, is a therapist at Low Country Behavioral Health. She works with teens, young adults, and adults navigating anxiety, trauma, relationship concerns, life transitions, and school-based stress, taking a supportive, down-to-earth approach that helps clients build the tools they need to move forward, whatever that looks like for them.
Renee draws on both CBT and DBT in her clinical work, and is also a Registered Yoga Teacher, bringing a mind-body element into sessions that many clients find grounding alongside traditional talk therapy. She's especially effective with teens, engaging them without talking down to them, and takes school and family stress seriously rather than dismissing it as a normal part of growing up. Renee holds a Bachelor's in Sociology and Spanish from Furman University and a Master's in Social Work from the University of Georgia, and sees clients in Mount Pleasant, West Ashley, and virtually across South Carolina.
Ready to talk to Renee? Schedule a consultation with Renee. The first session is just a conversation, nothing more complicated than that.